How are you? A guide to questioning yourself
What questions do we avoid asking ourselves?
Photo: My friends adopted two cats. Here's one.
"How are you?"
The most common greeting.
You know the answers.
Good, doing okay, I'm alright, hey not-so-bad.
But there's a problem here. We're so used to hearing this greeting that it bleeds into how we talk to ourselves too. We think, "I'm feeling good" or "I'm not feeling too good." And then we might just leave it at that, and not wonder why.
I think we're doing it wrong. When asking ourselves this question, we should be specific. If you had a bad day, do you break down how you felt, and why?
How did you feel, and what was each specific emotion?
What caused each emotion?
Why did this combination of feelings result in a bad day?
What choices could you have made instead?
You can't avoid stepping into that puddle again if you skim over the cause of it.
Our thoughts and actions create our feelings.
Our thoughts are habits.
Our actions are habits.
We will repeat the same errors again and again, unless we make note of how we feel and what decisions we made that led us to feel that way.
This is how we can stop Bad Day Train in its tracks before it takes us to Bad Day, USA.
This applies to all the days too, not just bad ones.
Okay days, anxious days, tired days, amazing days.
I had a spectacular day recently. The causes of this were surprisingly simple.
I woke up feeling well-rested.
I ate healthy foods.
I wrote for a few hours.
I got my truck’s oil changed and tires rotated.
I went to the gym.
I read a few chapters.
I journaled about a personal hurdle.
I visited a friend.
I called my mom.
I went to bed early.
I didn't find $100 on the sidewalk, adopt a puppy or spontaneously meet the love of my life as Disney played the soundtrack for my blissful day. Happily ever after, The End!
Why was this a great day?
I chose problems that I enjoy solving.
I took care of my body.
I put my mind to work.
I was honest with myself.
I spent time with people I love.
And of course, sleep!
What other questions do we avoid asking ourselves? I made a list of a few.
What have you been procrastinating for weeks, months, years?
What are you avoiding right now that you know you should be doing?
What choices are you making that make your life harder, but you're choosing them anyway?
Who do you need to call, but you're hesitant to have that difficult conversation?
Who should you spend less time with?
Who should you spend more time with?
Why do you judge someone else for that thing they always do?
Why do you feel bad about yourself when you do that one thing?
Why do you feel proud of yourself when you do that other thing?
Ask yourself more specific questions. Write down your answers. Then write your thoughts about those answers.
You'll be surprised what you learn about yourself, if you're honest.